Part II

Here is the next part of the story. I originally wrote this post on Monday, March 23rd, 2009, but it was on our iWeb website which I have now basically abandoned. Anyway here it is ....


Over 3 years ago Nate and I started this journey of trying to expand our family. Through the years we have had many disappointments and a lot of heartache. I should have started this blog a long time ago, but honestly couldn’t bring myself to say how much it hurt out loud, because that would make it all real. I felt I needed to stay strong and poised so that others didn’t feel pity for us or awkward around us. I did, however, spend the last few years reading others blogs which have helped me tremendously. I have realized that all of the things I was feeling were normal and that there were others out there going through the same things that Nate and I were. I now feel strong enough to express my own voice and tell our story.

One week ago, Nate and I found out the most wonderful and scariest news of our lives. Our wonderful surrogate, Trisha, took a home pregnancy test and it was positive. We have since had 3 blood tests at the doctor’s office that show so far the pregnancy is progressing normally. While we are ecstatic, we are also so fearful. Fearful that something bad will happen and that the rug will be pulled out from underneath us. We are afraid to let ourselves believe that we are finally going to be parents, but we are hopeful. Hopeful that for once everything will work our for us and our dream will finally come true. Our first ultrasound is this week on Thursday. We are excited, but guarded. We will have our second ultrasound on Monday, 4/6 to look for a heartbeat. I think it will only be after we know there is a heartbeat that we will feel confident enough to share this pregnancy with everyone. It’s hard to keep the news inside, but we have been burned too many times in the past. For now, I will update the blog, but we won’t publish this until we know for sure that this pregnancy is for keeps.